God's Will

It's funny. My friends will sometimes reference that they didn't know my faith. Hold on a minute, what am I saying, that isn't funny at all. I was brought up in a Christain household, tought to believe that God had a path for us, each of us, and that was a path we were going to follow...best we could. We might have a couple detours here and there, but in the end there was a path we would all take.

My path to Phoenix may have been a detour. Even if you asked me this a year ago. I was being selfish. I didn't listen or look at the warning signs, I just did as I wished. Thankfully, God introduced me to a wonderful friend who has reminded me of my faith and who I am. She has brought back a girl I used to love. And thankfully my friend has over looked my falses. She sees me for who I am not what I am. She is also bringing back the child in me.

Anywho...I was recently encouraged to apply for a position, and I did. It was a position I became very enthusiastic about, to say the least. The person that is currently holding that position was also enthusiastic about me taking over the position. This was a position I prayed about every day. Asking the good Lord not to offer me the position if it wasn't his will, because this wasn't something I could turn down. Telling the Lord that this time I would listen, and follow his plan. This morning I made that call to see if a decision was made. Yes, the decision was made, and as you can guess, it wasn't me. Did it break my heart? Yes. My heart was indeed broken. I was ready and willing to give that position all I had. In the end, it wasn't God's will. It wasn't the plan I am supposed to follow.

It is not my intention to sound "preachy" or "churchy" as some may call it...but this is me. This is who I am. I pray to the Lord to help me in decisions, to help me in life. Honestly, I don't know where I would be without Him, and part of me thinks that my friend was an angel he sent me to remind me of all that. She doesn't judge me. She doesn't say anything when I curse or make a wrong decision...instead she is a friend. A friend I am very grateful for.

My bestfriend, my mother, she wanted to cry with me. She wanted to be upset me that it wasn't God's will. She called me the instant I emailed her with tears in my eyes and probably knowing that I thought it was all my fault. That they didn't like me, they didn't like my personality. And what she told me, was that God has another path I need to follow.

So God, I will follow that path. I open my arms and heart to you, show me the way!