Where are you Christmas?

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too


It's one of those years, one where you just can't seem to place things. I am here looking at my desk...there is a contract that I am needing to review with my boss, one I am needing to pay, one I am needing to see through and my calendar. Everything neatly together, so I know what is what, and just the way I like it.

What I don't have is that Holiday Spirit. Everyone else has their office's decorated. Then there is mine. I am the one that turns the station when a Christmas song comes on. I have moved so much, that if I wanted to go "home" for Christmas, where would I go? It is all part of growing up and moving forward with your life and goals. Things change, home changes.

I could go back to Rochester, where most of my family resides as well as my friends. As for my immediate family, it is only my brother there. It would be Christmas with my brother, but not the parents.
I could go to DC, where my parents reside. However, if I go there, I get to see my parents, but my brother won't be there.
I could go to Phoenix and see Anita. She is family to me now, after all, she is who I spent so much time with when I was there. But then there would be no parents and brother.

What do I choose - I choose to stay in Texas. Why? I guess this is where I think I will be happier. If I go to either place, it won't be Christmas with out the missing half (parents or brother). If I stay in Texas, it will kinda be like just another day. I will still go to Christmas Service on Christmas Eve, but other than that, it will be Bart boy and I.

As I sit here, going through these contracts, maybe Christmas will find me. Maybe all the changes I have made in my life means I have to find a new Christmas. But what is that Christmas, and will I like it?