ramble

It doesn't seem to be that many people are keeping up with the blog world. Although, it is a busy time of year...but it is how I keep up with my friends. Then I think that is going down hill. It's inevitable, when you move away, you eventually lose touch. Take for instance Julie and Peter. Julie and Peter moved to Germany a couple months before I moved to Virginia. We kept in touch like champs for the longest time. Sent snail mail, did the email thing and the calls. However, life got in the way, and we slowing moved to just writing emails here and there. I care for them all the same, that hasn't changed, but our inside jokes are no longer played back and forth on a weekly basis anymore. I am finding this to be the same with some other friends. It is my fault just the same. I don't call them all that much, and vise-versa. Half the time I don't want to hear about them going out all the time knowing that I am home on the computer, working, or watching TV. They are still living the same life, and I have changed mine up a bit. And I am doing it again.

I have been getting ready for a new adventure. This time around, I do have to say, things been a little more difficult for me. I am having to get ride of things that mean a lot to me. Stuffed animals that I have had since I can remember, favorite clothes - sweatshirts mainly (I kept all my Purdue sweatshirts). Tuesday I am donating some pieces of furniture that was my grandfathers. I know it is what I need to do, and I understand that. I know I should only take what I need and really really like....but it was Grandpa's. It is odd going through every drawer, every container and cleaning out as much as possible. Yes, I will admit, I have kept a lot of junk throughout the years, but some things have great memories behind them. Yesterday, it broke my heart, but I threw out the letters that Julie and I would write (snail mail style). Well I am off to clean out more drawers. I am getting there! The hard part is done.

Holiday time

It is the holiday time and this year I feel I am not enjoying it like I usually do. This year I am more inundated with work and trying to plan out the correct steps for the New Year. I would love to take my mind off of work and the upcoming year for a bit. I have planned a trip to NC, but that isn't until the second weekend in January, so that doesn't do me any good. I have a book on the six great scientists, yes Einstein is one of the six, and maybe I will pick that up tonight. I don't believe that will do the trick though. I would like to hit up DC and walk around. Maybe I will do that next weekend. Go see the stars at the Einstein Planetarium or see how much I weight on Jupiter! You know what I would really like, sit outside and look up at the stars. Man, I can do that for hours and be perfectly content. Maybe I will go for a walk tonight - but where? I don't believe I know of any parks around here.

On a side note, I have been listening to wbee online web streaming all day today. That has been a treat. Hearing similar voices and commercials for the places back home. If it weren't for that, I don't believe I would have smiled today.

Back to work!

reflection

Today I did something right, at least to me. I have had a lot on my mind, and seeing some friends hasn't made things any easier. Today it hit me, I brought out and watched the one thing I have to watch to bring back the courage and the strength I know I have. I college I made a documentary as my final for a class I was taking. This documentary was on a person in my life that, to me, was a strong, loving, encouraging, intelligent man. He was also someone I was, in a way, afraid of. Curt was someone, like people I strive to be like, I never wanted to disappoint. There aren't many of those in my life, and I was happy to have him be that type of person to me. Asking him if he would allow me to make a documentary on his life was one of the most terrifying things I ever did. Yes, this sounds odd, but if he said no...wow, I don't know how I would have handled that. Luckily he agreed to it. Two weeks later, I planned one full day to devote myself to following him. That was one of the best days on my life, and I have it all on tape.

Today I brought that documentary out and I watched it, and watched it again. Watching this brings back all the dreams I used to share with him. He always had faith in me, more faith than I ever had in myself. Today, yesterday, and last week I needed that reminder. I needed to remind myself that there are people that have faith in me besides my family. Family - sometimes you think, they have to have faith. But Curt didn't have to, he chose to. I will probably watch this a couple more times today, tomorrow and weeks to come to remind me that I can do anything I put my mind to. To remind me that we were put on earth to live out lives, not live in regret. To remind me that we need to do for others just like we do for ourselves. To remind me that life is what you make of it. Yes, these are all things we know...but to hear it over and over and over again, it helps. This helps me stand behind the decision I have made.

I hope everyone has or has had this person in their life. I haven't seen Curt in 5-6 years, but I was lucky to have gotten to know him. That is more than I can ask for.

Thirsty Thursday

Happy Thirsty Thursday!

I think today will be a good day. Adam is back at work, he has been out for 7 days, not that I was counting. He is one of my good friends at work, and him being gone that long made work even more sad. Especially because his father passed, and you just wanted to know how he was doing. You wanted to do something, but all you can really do is pray and be there if asked.

Anywho, back to my good day - Adam is back, and I am smiling again. It is nice to be smiling again. Yesterday was a bitter sweet day for me. I have been listening to some opinions of people that don't know me all that well. The know the business Kelly, not the Kelly out side of work - and they think that I could be making the worst mistake of my life. At 4pm yesterday, I kicked myself in the ass. Why am I even letting them get to me. Two months ago, I knew that I wanted to pursue this because of the opportunity it brought. Then comes Thanksgiving and the week following, I started to doubt. Well I am done doubting. I am back on track, thinking about what I want, where I want to be. Currently, my closest friends are a 6 hour drive, either North Carolina or upstate New York. Immediate family is in DC and upstate New York. I came to the DC area knowing that it would be temporary, and this holds true. Yes, I like it here, but this isn't where I want to stay. So, it will be a 6 hour drive or a 6 hour flight...so be it. So as I said, today is a good day. Yes, I will miss seeing Dawn and Jim 4-5 times a year, but I have to do what I believe is best for me right now.

As for Thirsty Thursday - I hope everyone is able to enjoy an nice happy hour!!

A little Charlie Brown...

I am in need of a Lucy and Charlie session.

Speaking to my brother yesterday, he asked me how my decision making process is going. I am down to the Yes or No part of the processes, and I am wondering what my friends think. My parents are great, but in a way they are making this very difficult. Dad is being very helpful, helping price things out, and mom as saying she is proud that I received such a nice compliment. (They came to me.)

You may email me and ask me questions to help give advice. But I don't want to hear, go or don't go with no reason. I need to hear the reasons. Or Go it would be fun. Or Don't Go - because with out you we would't be able to survive. (hehe! okay, so it got a little deep in here, moving on.) My close friends read this, and I would love to hear what they think. Ultimatly it is my decision, but in a way, you are my family too. I have known you guys since early college years, if not longer...and you all know me fairly well, this is why I ask you. For those that don't know me all that well...you may call me crazy at this point!!

I am off to get ready for work. To all my Lucy's out there, I am your Charlie Brown!

Holiday Challenge

People seem to forget the importance of the holidays.

I have been pretty quiet lately at work, which has given me the opportunity to observe. It is interesting to hear what people are talking about. To say the least, it has been pretty depressing. What I hear is complaints, and nothing but.

People are asking what others are doing for the holiday's and you hear about gifts. Some are upset because they are not getting what they want. Other's picking out their own gifts, so they get what they like. To me, this is so very sad.

While this conversation is going on, a co-worker/friend of mine unexpectedly lost his father this week. I bring this up because what I hear most are those worried about gifts, while this one co-worker is going through one of the biggest losses of his life.

We need to listen to what we are saying. What you are talking about? Are you more worried about what will be under your tree, or what you will be receiving for Hanukkah? To me, everyone needs to take 10 giant steps back and look at what we have around us and be thankful. Look at the meaning as to why you celebrate these joyous holiday's - realize that it isn't about the gifts, it is about something so much more. Yes, Thanksgiving has past, but that doesn't mean it is time to get greedy - it is still time to be thankful.

This holiday season, I challenge everyone around me to open there eyes and see the deeper meaning behind this. Forget about the gifts, forget about the ads for all the stores. Take a walk, smell the winter air, and think about what the best gift of all is. Is it something that you can put a price on? Is it something you will find in a store? Or is it something you already have that you can cherish from this day on?

If you have trouble with this, turn on any Holiday movie and it will help you remember.