Today, well tonight, I realized how I have felt this weekend. I have lived in Arizona now for a month and a half. Leaving the DC area, I knew, was the right thing for me. However, moving farther away from home was/is hard, and I knew it would be. Family mainly in upstate NY, parents in the DC area and good friends in North Carolina...yea the move was going to be tough. To this day, I will still tell you that it was the right decision. I am getting back to the Kelly I know and want to be.
I went to a Church service tonight that had a great message, and amazing music - even my brother would have liked it - that is how good it was. But I left and cried. I was sitting there by myself while everyone was talking to their friends. I am beginning to really dislike doing things by myself. Since I only lived in DC for three years, I didn't know a lot of people. But I had my friends. It takes time, and I know I will make some friends...but today, this weekend, I put my arms up. Please don't post that I will eventually meet people, I know I will meet people. Just tonight, leaving Church I was just tired of trying to be strong and I broke down. But I will get there and continue to be strong.
I read a post before Church about music. And you all know I can't live without music, so this post was fitting. It was about relating main points in your life to a particular song. My move to Arizona fits perfectly with "I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts. As tough as it might be, I am gaining who I am back, slowly. Soon I will be as happy as I was (friend wise) in Rochester. I will meet a Sean, a Willy, a Christine, a Kacey, a Matty...you know. (Notice how I didn't say Kyle.) Once I have that, Arizona will be one great place. Just please don't let me make anymore friends that leave me at a bar. And no, the one friend I had moving out here hasn't called to apologize and no I have not contacted him. Although, half of me would like to write and tell him how much he hurt me by leaving me somewhere I had never been before. But hey, it can only make me stronger...right?
Alright, I am off to make some dinner. Pork wrapped in BACON!!! Since my co-worker calls me pudgy, I thought I would try to gain some weight so that would actually hold true! :) Have a wonderful week all.
Well the weekend is over, time for a new week. As for what this week will bring, we will have to wait and see. I hope everyone in Rochester had a great snowy weekend!
2 comments:
Kelly, thanks for the post! BTW, SBC is my home church and the ministry you visited on Sunday night, somanorth I assume, is where all of my friends go. Joe Gordon, probably the guy who spoke is one of my best friends. The drummer, Christian, is one of my other best friends. Go and tell Joe that you're my friend and that you're new and I GUARENTEE he'll hang out with you. Tell him that you read my blog!
BTW, how did you find it?
I did a random blog search and yours came up, and was very glad it did.
Yes, I was at somanorth last night and was quickly introduced to Joe (he knew the girl that was sitting near me) during the stand up and greet people part of the night. The band was amazing - do they have any cd's?
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